How to Actually Feel Your Emotions (Instead of Overthinking Them)

Let’s be honest—if feeling your feelings were easy, you wouldn’t be here reading this. Many of us think we’re feeling our emotions, but we’re actually analyzing, avoiding, or pushing them away. We intellectualize, asking why we feel a certain way instead of just letting the feeling exist. We distract ourselves with work, social media, or busyness. Or we suppress emotions completely because life has taught us that they’re inconvenient, too much, or unsafe.

So how do you actually feel your emotions without getting stuck in them? Let’s break it down.

1. Start by Naming What You Feel

Often, we struggle to process emotions because we don’t even know what they are. Instead of labeling them, we just feel a general heaviness, restlessness, or numbness.

Try asking yourself:

• What am I feeling right now? (If you don’t know, describe the sensation—e.g., “I feel tightness in my chest,” or “There’s a lump in my throat.”)
• If this feeling had a color, a texture, or a temperature, what would it be?
• What word comes closest to describing this feeling? (Anxious, lonely, frustrated, numb, hopeful?)

Naming the emotion—even if all you can say is “Something feels off”—creates space for it to exist without judgment.

2. Locate the Feeling in Your Body

Emotions don’t just live in your mind—they live in your body. When we ignore or suppress feelings, they often manifest as physical sensations.

Try this:

• Take a deep breath and scan your body from head to toe.
• Where do you feel tightness, discomfort, or energy?
• If your body could speak right now, what would it say?

For example:

• Anxiety might feel like butterflies in your stomach or a tight chest.
• Grief might feel like heaviness in your shoulders or a lump in your throat.
• Anger might feel like heat rising through your body or clenched fists.

You don’t have to fix anything—just notice it.

3. Let the Emotion Exist Without Trying to Fix It

Here’s where most of us struggle: we want emotions to make sense so we can fix them and move on. But emotions aren’t problems to be solved—they are messengers.

Try telling yourself:

• “This feeling is allowed to be here.”
• “I don’t need to understand or fix it right now.”
• “I can let this emotion move through me at its own pace.”

Instead of trying to rationalize it away, see if you can simply sit with it for a moment longer than usual.

4. Express the Emotion in a Way That Feels Safe

Sometimes, emotions feel too overwhelming to just sit with. If that’s the case, find a way to let them move through you:

• Write it out—without filtering or editing. Let yourself ramble.
• Move your body—shake out your hands, go for a walk, stretch.
• Breathe through it—deep belly breathing or sighing can release tension.
• Make a sound—humming, singing, or even screaming into a pillow can help release stuck energy.

Emotions want to move. Give them a safe outlet.

5. Talk to Yourself Like You Would a Friend

When uncomfortable emotions arise, it’s easy to judge ourselves: Why am I still feeling this? Shouldn’t I be over it?

Instead, try self-compassion:

• “It makes sense that I feel this way.”
• “I am allowed to have emotions, even messy ones.”
• “I trust myself to handle what I’m feeling.”

Your emotions don’t need to be “justified” to be valid. The simple act of allowing them to be there is enough.

What If I Don’t Feel Anything?

If emotions feel foreign or inaccessible to you, that’s okay. Sometimes, we’ve spent so long suppressing them that we don’t know how to access them.

If this is you, try:

• Noticing physical sensations first—do you feel tension, numbness, restlessness?
• Asking yourself: “If I did feel something right now, what might it be?”
• Reminding yourself: Feeling nothing is still a feeling.

There is no rush. Feeling takes time.

Final Thought: Feeling Isn’t Fixing—It’s Witnessing

Learning to feel your emotions isn’t about controlling them or making them go away. It’s about creating space for them without fear, judgment, or urgency.

Your emotions don’t make you weak. They don’t make you broken. They make you human. And the more you practice holding space for them, the more at home you will feel within yourself.

Reflection Question:
What’s one emotion you’ve been avoiding? What would it be like to simply let it exist for a moment today?

Let me know if this resonates with you! I’d love to hear your thoughts.